What do you value? (First thousand readers get free tickets to the thing they love, that means YOU!)

First They Came for the Jews
by Martin Niemöller

First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.


Disclaimer: This is not philosophy, rather simply observations of life.

Living in a constant state of confusion and anger is hard, but this seems to be the only option going forward. I'm not saying it's 100% fury and not understanding where you are all the time, but I am saying that it is a varying degree of constant. It may be early Alzheimer's, but it's probably just a serious case of being human. You see, there are questions that have to be asked all the time, if you think about anything at all, then this is just the way it is. The more I learn, the more I have to ask about.
What I'm asking today is this;
How many people have I killed today?

This seems overly dramatic, so let me just say this - the number is zero.
Then I ask you, how many people have you killed today?
In all probability you are like me, with a very low-to-zero body-count. Good for you and everyone around you.
The caveat is this - You haven't actually actively, physically killed anyone. Unless you are in some very specific circumstances, you would remember killing someone. It takes some serious determination, or a certain degree of recklessness to kill. War and accidents happen. Carelessness happen. Most people seriously care if they kill someone by accident or recklessness.
So to put it bluntly, we try relatively hard not to kill people.*
Sure, there are other incentives to, you know, not killing people, like if you don't morally judge yourself, society will do it for you.
So we care about ourselves, we don't want to feel bad for violating our own values, and we don't want to go to jail.
I am going somewhere with this, I swear. I'm just working out what my gut is telling me as I'm going along here.
So, hum, yes. To sum up so far - We have values, we try not to kill people.
What else has value to us? That is highly individual, to say the least. But there is one thing everyone has agreed holds value. It is very close to the definition of value. Yes, indeed, it's money.
Value = money, money = value. Some less cynical people may not agree, to this and say that this is not the same type of value. Well, you may not think that, but do you practice what you preach? Because people tend not to, and I'd have to say that you are in fact and all actuality supremely wrong.
It is systematically built in to society, from top to bottom.
Money is a promise of everything. It is intrinsically useless, but it promises everything from a hot meal to a new house. And not just for you, but for your family, friends and everyone you love. It is not a small thing to be able to provide for those you love. It has value. On the other hand, on the hand that has no cash at all, it is hard to go hungry because you're broke. If you are so inclined, it might even be harder to see the people you care for go hungry, because you know, no money means no food or good stuff for your family.
So can we agree that money is a good tool for expressing your values, beyond the value of currency itself? I think we can. There is a price attached to anything and everything. Time is now money. I am currently throwing good money out of the window writing this, as there is no way I could monetize it, even if I wanted to.

So let me loop back to the big questions - how many people have you killed today, what do you value, and how do I connect this to what I'm working up to?

I will do it like this.
You know the famous poem First They Came for the Jews, by Martin Niemöller, right? Good.
Can we now assume that dead people that you didn't actively kill or even know at all, are all the same people? We don't care too much when people we don't know die somewhere else. And that is a good thing, because if you had to feel bad for every dead person every day, you'd be a wreck and we would've ended it all a long time ago, leaving the world to the psychopaths.**
But although we don't feel it emotionally, we are intellectually aware of it. So sometimes we do things with our money to bring our values to those who are knee-deep in the shit, ranging from donating old clothes to adopting a child from somewhere less nice than were we live.*** And all that stuff in between. 
Ok, so now we are getting there. 
We all live on the same planet, despite resurgent nationalism and a new-fangled fascination for giant walls, the world and society is more global than ever.
So riddle me this;
How is you having the ability to save the life of some unfortunate somewhere through simple use of money, and not doing it, not the same as letting everyone else die in Niemöller's poem? Because we teach that in school and get all righteous about that shit. 
And here I return to my question - how many people did you kill today, meaning, how many people that you could've saved with the use of some money (that we value), did you let die?
The thing is, once you get past the active/passive thing, I don't see the difference. Oscar Schindler seems to agree. And this is certainly not me passing judgement, I reckon I killed a good 20 people this week, just by doing nothing. I could've spent a good chunk of my paycheck to feed and educate some poor kids somewhere and still pay my bills.  It is against the law to not help someone in obvious distress in many countries. What the hell does that even mean? Are we talking about some Syrians or that old guy who froze to death in his car in Sweden, while his neighbours thought about helping and promptly did exactly nothing? Where do we draw the line? We draw it where it's comfortable, that's where. From the big pharma-company that hikes up the price of meds for the sake of profits, to the people who accept a government that enforces a system where wealth of the few is gained at the cost of the health of the many. The list goes on and on, because like I said, this is built into the system we live in. We have values, but we also have money, the ultimate value. 
So where is the value and how many people did you kill today? 



*Except for Potatobeak Cat, who has grown violent and resentful and wants me dead. Probably a result of being spoiled by certain other parties in the household of Casa del Hate.
**And what a brave new world that would be!
***Don't get me started on the price of adoption.

We never even stood a chance, so make sure that the next generation is equally screwed. (Endorsed by Jesus and UNESCO)

As I keep telling my cat as no one else will listen;
Sometimes I forget how utterly stupid people are, how we are locked into conventions and traditions without question, blindly following our own expectations, handed to us by a society that is "not perfect, but the best we can manage at this point". Then at some random point in time and space, the thought "Obviously we can be anything and everything we choose to, as a society and as a race." hits me, quickly followed by "Yes, and this is what we chose."
It follows that depressed cynics are merely observant and intelligent. If the intelligent and observant are happy, it is probably because they are either rich or have a hopeless case of optimism.
So how do we manage this magic trick of such all-encompassing vastness, creating this illusion where we are both on the stage and in the audience at the same time, telling ourselves when to clap, because we are doing our best and this is it? Well, fuck me, maybe it's because we're telling the children that this is what we've always done, we're going to teach you to do it to yourselves, then you will do it to your children.

Let me clarify my thoughts in one condensed sentence without ranting incomprehensibly:

Our education-system fucking sucks. It sucks from start to finish, kinder-garden to university.
Here is the whopper - people actually agree with me on this*, but, hey, what can you do, right?
Right.
So when the topic comes up, these are the usual suspects of preferred solutions:**

1. We need better teachers, we will raise the standards and educate better teachers.
2. There are too few options, more private schools will create diversity and competition.
3. The social environment is bad, we need new social projects and to be more including.
4. Update the material, new books for everyone!
5. More tests, different tests, new tests! To measure progress and compare numbers and... stuff?
6. Let's reform everything, confuse the shit out of all the teachers for years and blame it all on     the other political party when it doesn't work.


I just wrote this list and I already hate it. I mean, holy shit, does that list look like it's brimming with the revolutionary ideas needed to change an antiquated education-system?
Never changing in any meaningful way for ages, our schools are still churning out factory workers, soldiers and young people encouraged to fit in a-one-size-fits-all-mold. That is what it's designed to to, look it up - produce a working-class, instill respect for authority and the system, thus conditioning the young for the possibility of a military career. The brightest of the lot might make it far enough to get some higher degree and specialized education, making their way to the middle-class. A happy by-product, but good on them.
Much like as in the US, Norway has adopted a "no kid left behind"(-ish) stance, on the early to middling stages of education. That means dumbing it down enough that borderline handicapped children get a chance, while making sure that they are stuck doing something they probably don't want to do, making this formulae stick to... everyone, more or less. It is an oversimplification, but then again so is the education-system.

So, let's have a look at the list again.

1. Yes, better teachers, please. Of course, the powers that be will go about this in some weird way, making demands on the education-system itself to produce better teachers, changing benchmarks and demands to grades in various fields that are often unrelated, unrealistic or just superfluous.

Possible solution:***  Pay teachers enough to make it a prestige career. Why the hell aren't we doing that already? This would in turn make demands on their education and attract more people, because that's what money do. Just don't pay them so much that it makes the job worth it even though they actually hate children.

2. Private schools are for religious crazies and the rich. Or possibly hippies. Either way I fail to see how any of the options are healthy for society as a whole. The public school should be good enough, even for the moderately rich. The religious option is not an institution for learning, but for indoctrination, make-belief and delusion. The artsy hippie alternative is whatever the hell it wants to be, and should probably be incorporated into the normal school-system to some degree. Don't really know and don't care enough to get into it. Damn hippies.

Possible solution: Get rid of 99% of private schools for various reasons.

3. Social environment. These projects tend to fall into one of three categories.
First: Let the children play, dance, hold hands and sing. In short, let children be children.
Second: There is to much bullying, we need the children to stop behaving like children.
Third: Social justice agenda! Raise the minorities to the top and ask the rest to check their privileges. 

Possible solutions: Good question. Children are cruel savages, sometimes because their parents are trash, sometimes just because they are children. I suggest an artificial Lord of the Flies scenario to pin-point the psychos early, preventing getting the chubby kid killed.
But that is for the kids. The higher echelons need to curb the SJWs  before they go amok. Possibly earlier intervention and better teachers could beat this problem to a pulp.

4. New books. Ok, I love books, they are awesome. Books = Civilization. That being said, why do we still have them at school? Information gets outdated too fast for books to stay relevant for any longer stretch of time. What do commercials for certain companies and products have in common with scifi-movies from the 80s and 90s have in common? You learn shit from computers, possibly with VR.

Possible solution: Get rid of the books, get laptops, pads and VR-headsets for everyone. You can't follow a link in a book to learn more. Books are in fact not interactive. The world today is.  Probably the most important thing we could do to reform. Case closed. 

5. Tests. Test what? What are we testing? How are we testing it? The form of written tests we use today, are still largely a leftover from a time when books were the ultimate authority of knowledge and possibly even rare or hard to come by. Thus students crammed and memorized, because they needed information readily available in their heads. THAT IS NOT THE SOCIETY WE LIVE IN TODAY! The amount of information we have at hand is staggering and freely available to the filthy masses. Sure, certain specialists need to know stuff. You don't want your surgeon to pause the operation to quickly google something. But then maybe you DO want that, because the procedure might have changed some since the surgeon read about it in a book.

Possible solution: Stop memorizing useless facts. Test a students ability to comprehend the information available and his or hers ability to use it correctly. We are not machines. Machines will give you lists of facts. People should utilize them. Fuck antiquated tests. 


6. Reform, confuse, blame. This happens all the time. Someone means well, tries to make a change, but gets caught up in bureaucracy, compromises, politics, personal agendas etc, and it ends up not changing enough to make a difference, just messing it up for everyone.
How about this? Reform, educate, take credit. You're welcome.

Possible solution: We need to have the balls and ovaries to take it far enough to make the difference.
What if learning and teaching never ends? If the teachers are continually kept up to date on new material in their fields, the students would be equally educated, thus ending the gap in knowledge between elderly teachers and well-informed students. Again, put the books away, the are old and out-dated after a couple of years.

Imagine this - A public school, more or less without books, without blackboards, but with more well-paid, well-educated and highly motivated teachers. Learning would be highly interactive with all the visual aids you could dream of, painting in as broad or narrow strokes as you'd wish. Explanations and language can be tailored to each individual's needs and level of comprehension, with an ever present possibility to go deeper or wider into the information, information that would always be current and up to date. Let the children be children, but let them be smart children, let them have general knowledge and specialized knowledge if they so wish and help them be what they want to be, not what an out-dated institution have told us to be.






Soundtrack: Paradise Lost - No hope in sight****

* Some do!
** I enjoy writing lists. Sue me.
*** Yes, I dare.
**** Is where I started. After some hours of typing, I ended up on Nirvana - Lithium

Ode to my Hobbit. (This is really about my manly bits)

There is just too much retardation in the world. Forget Trump, elections, North-Korea, what the fuck ever David Lynch's problem is, your lack of money and the slow dying of your soul.
I've written something bad to make everything better. Buy me beer. I'm bored and sober.


Concerning hobbits:*
My hobbit is an average hobbit, small and fairly stout. The hobbit enjoys pleasant surprises and attention, but if startled , it will go into hiding. It requires surprisingly little food, and too much alcohol will make it confused and render it useless.
The hobbit is fairly private and enjoys indoor activities, but is known to venture forth into the wild nature when alone and feels the need to breathe.
Most of all, it enjoys spending time in a hobbit-hole, where it feels most at home and can engage in all sorts of activities. Though somewhat short of stature and very modest, the hobbit will rise to most occasions, and performs great feats of endurance and bravery when put under pressure. Give him a magic ring, and there is no end to what he can achieve. Although the hobbit spends most of his active time in the hobbit-hole, he enjoys the occasional trip to Mordor.  



*Yes, I'm perfectly aware of the fact that I once referred to myself as a hobbit in a wedding a long time ago, and thusly calling future-me a cock. Which I'm fine with.

Feel the divide - nibble on the rich, just a tiny bit, just a morsel, ok, maybe a little more, maybe have intercourse with a police-person.

Some 77 different international NGOs, left-wing political parties, think tanks and trade unions have organized a two-day "alternative summit" in Hamburg on July 5 and 6, a day ahead of the G20, which organizers say "defends a system that boosts social inequality." Over the course of 12 panel discussions, scientists, activists and politicians are to debate different ways to overcome "poverty, exploitation, oppression and the destruction of nature."

-  from dw.com


There is a divide. I can see it. Like Galadriel, I can just sense it in the air and water. It is inside of me. This divide isn't a single chasm, like a Grand Canyon, splitting USA between Trumps and No-Trumps, no, this is a spiderweb of a fractured Earth. It is Us against Them, only most of the time, We don't know who They are. Hell, I don't know who We are.
The divide is the crack between the Haves and the Have Nots, the people who represent the People, and the People. The network of cracks put the Left on one side and the Right on the other, immigrants, blacks, white, rich, poor, police, punks, hippies, Big Companies, GMO, bees, social justice warriors, feminists, gays*, North-Korea, USA, Russia, Trump, Putin - everything gets its own little patch of land on a scorched earth, laying siege to the land-island next to it.
But the divide is also inside of me, not only do I have to plant my feet in the dirt and yell this land is mine, get the fuck off my lawn, I have to deal with an internal divide. But that is the beauty about having feelings** and fucking thoughts, you can have more than one at the time! I can stand being a man divided a hell of a lot longer than some of the larger institutions can.
These are observations made through social and unsocial media. There has been a meeting of the elite of The Elite, a G20 meeting in Hamburg. This is of course the good and democratic meeting, the really-really elitist meeting would be the G8 meeting. Donald and Vladimir got to shake hands, but what else happened, who was there and what did they discuss? The short and sweet answer is, and will always be - Money. Global economic growth, international trade and regulation are the main topics, so naturally there are not only leaders of various influential nations present, the following parties (among others) are also present: The World Bank, The World Trade Organization, The International Monetary Fund, The Financial Stability Board and Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development. So they talked about money, terrorism, the cost of terrorism, immigration, the cost of immigration, environmental sustainability, the cost of environmental sustainability, and some other things, not all directly linked to finance, but with a price-tag attached for sure.
I realize I might sound like a broken record, but money rule the world, and this is a problem. I realize I sound like a naive hippie, but the way global capitalism functions, it is a one way ticket to a fiery death for us all.
Or I might be wrong.
This system of capitalism and "free market"*** might launch us into space, colonizing new planets, continuing life EXACTLY LIKE IT IS NOW! Which is fine for the few, and totally shit for the many more. Wouldn't it be great to mend our ways before we spread the status quo that constantly keeps us on the brink of international crisis, starvation and nuclear war to other planets? Is that what we want? More of the same for all eternity, because this works so splendidly?
But I digress.

There was also another participant that I forgot to mention at the G20 meeting. The People.
The people shoved up in such numbers that the German police requested reinforcements from Denmark (sic). So that is one big divide. The few who rule the many. Then there is the police that works for the few, to protect them from the many. That is another divide. Wait, is that what the police is supposed to do? What was your last interaction with the law? Just asking. And this is where my internal divide tends to kick in. In several ways.
I am sceptical to violence, but I'm in no way a pacifist. There were peaceful protests, riots, clashes with the police and random destruction in the city and suburbs of Hamburg. The question I ask is this - will meaningful change come about through peaceful means? I have to say I kinda doubt it. Take a glance to USA. Bernie Sanders vs the system, that worked great, and everyone is ok with that. That is how steeped the system is in corruption. People can't be bothered to even care anymore.
So when I see the condemnation of the riots and violence in the media I feel divided. I don't want innocent protesters to get hurt. I don't want random people to have their cars destroyed or their houses vandalized. McDonald's, big business, that sort of thing? Couldn't care less. Yes, fuck you too. You disagree yet? Here comes the big one, a big divider in every sense, both internal and external - the police.
The police are there to uphold law and order. They are also public servants, there to protect the public - everyone. But they work for the system. They aren't evil, they are ordinary people - UNLESS! - they are the kind of people who gravitate to positions where they can exact power over others, like many politicians do. Beware of the people who want power for power's sake.
Anyways.
When I see social media I see people condemning the violence against the police. My question is this - Why is violence against the police worse than violence against other people - in any situation?
In most countries there is a divide in the law between the public, the big players and those that serve them, the police. You get in a load more of trouble smacking a policeman in the face as opposed to, say me.
They have the fucking training and gear for it, they chose their line of work! I didn't. So when I get smacked in the face, why is that better? Why are public servants who in many cases do precious little serving to the public, held in such high regard in the eyes of society and the law? Well, the law-part might be self-explanatory, right. If you are in opposition to the system, there might come a time when you find yourself in position where you handled bodily and rudely. You might get beaten, soaked and pepper'sprayed. You are not allowed to defend yourself. You can hit the person next to you in the same situation and chances are good that no one will care except for said person. The system protects the system, paid with the money you provide through taxes and consumerism. So how about some equality to the law? The people of the police aren't magical, they aren't better or more important than anyone else, don't give them special treatment.
Sure, you can chant, you can sign a petition, you can write your local whatever and ask them to do something. That always works, the media will cover that, right?
Sometimes I think the divide needs to be bridged with fire. Maybe I'd like to see the smoke rise on the horizon, but then I think - yes, but don't burn down my shit. Or maybe I'd let my shit burn if it meant something. I'm divided on this.
And just to no get in any trouble - I totally condemn all violence. There. Covered my ass.

* and all that qlwarblegloop-jazz.
** like Hate.
 *** don't even get me started.

Things are getting interesting - short and sweet (Kim Jong-un rides suicide dolphin to sink presidential ship )

"Look, my job isn't to make everything beautiful. My job isn't to make living life a good time. My job is to keep the majority of people in this country alive. That's it. If fifty-one percent eat a meal tomorrow and forty-nine percent don't, I've done my job. That is the absolute fucking limit of what can be done...You might not think that's the way a president should behave. But you know...that's fuckin' tough." 

- The Beast, POTUS in Transmetropolitan. 




Yes, I'm writing something, big whoop. It's obviously not from peer pressure or popular demand, but the cat told me time was right, and I really need to flex my mental muscles and get cracking so here we are.
My friends, we live in interesting times, just like the ancient Chinese curse. But it isn't like I need telling you that, is it? The UK is leaving the EU*, Turkey is going full retard, France is on the verge of going so far right, they can't even see the left on the horizon, and then there is Trump.
Trump is the big one, or so every media tells me. I'm just happy he is there, not the most popular opinion I know, but I enjoy seeing the boat rocked. The thing is, if you rock the boat enough, the people on board might decide they need to set a new course or possibly even get a new and better boat. Yes, the boat is a half-assed metaphor for whatever you want it to be. The point is, I don't think this boat of your choice will capsize, which would be bad whatever your personal choice of symbol boat is.
There is a lot of noise about North-Korea being some sort of iceberg making the future of our vessel dangerous. They might even be in their own boat, shooting torpedoes at our boat.

Listen up.

I'm willing to bet my steam-account on this.

North-Korea isn't a danger to anyone who isn't living in North-Korea, or if things get super-hairy extremely fast, South-Koreans. If it wasn't for the fact that they have the ability to blow Seoul away if they feel they have nothing to lose, someone - I'm looking at you Uncle Sam - would have moved in a long time ago. There is some worry about China, they are backing the Kims, aren't they? Well, yes. If they didn't there wouldn't be any North-Koreans left to starve, but how do I put this?  The relationship between China and North-Korea is something like this - At the family reunion where China is the head of the family, North-Korea is the slightly retarded cousin who keeps on using food as finger-paint shouting he is an amazing wizard. The only thing stopping N-K from eating the poisonous floral arrangements, is China's firm hand on his shoulder,trying to keep him from embarrassing the rest of the family by accidentally killing himself. At some point China's patience is going to go away for a discreet break, and those delicious-looking flowers will be up for grabs.


"Past records of inter-Korean relations show that confrontation between fellow countrymen leads to nothing but war." 

-Kim Jong-un


Ok, so they might have a nuke that MIGHT fly. Again, if it even managed to get airborne, fueled by coal and hope, I predict it would make it a whopping five miles before it got shot down.**
Now consider Pakistan and India. Those are countries with humongous populations, big armies and actual nuclear weapons. And they hate each-other. AND I can't help but feel that Pakistan is just a crisis or two away from becoming a more or less ally of the US (where was it they got Bin Laden again?) to the new big bad enemy. Which would actually be scary, as opposed to Kim and co.

Back to Trump.
Trump is like a cartoon character. But you have to compare him to the right character. If you've ever read Transmetropolitan***, the choice is obvious. He is The Beast. Believe it or not, but that is a good thing, because that means he isn't The Smiler. The Trump Beast isn't a perfect comparison, but in my mind it's damned close. Get through the day, make money, don't get too many killed, Team America - fuck yeah! The environment is probably getting shat on (in a bad way, not in the good fertilizer way), but at least Trump Beast isn't in the job just to fuck with people, just because he can.
Beware the Smiler. Ted Cruz gives me that vibe.

So.
Let the boat be rocked, bring the interesting times on.
     
"Yes, General, I am masturbating into the American Flag. It relaxes me. Do you have a problem with that? Would you rather that I used you?"

- The smiler


* I enjoy the fact that some people on the net, possibly Americans, claim that UK is leaving Europe.
** Still very bad for the Koreans in general.
***If not, go do so. Now. THE POWER OF VISHNU COMPELS YOU! Or deity of your choice.

Busting the ghost of crap. (Hillary Clinton sacrifices kitten in secret Illuminati ritual as Donald Trump watches - must see!)

You know I'm right.

I watch movies, as most people do. Some I enjoy, some I just hate to bits and want to sue the companies that made them and make them watch me doing useless shit for an hour and a half*.
Some people are of the misconception that every opinion is valid. They are wrong, and I just proved that with this sentence. Some people think the new Ghostbusters film is good. They are so wrong.

“Usually when you see females in movies, they feel like they have these metallic structures around them, they are caged by male energy.”
― Bjørk

If you think new Ghostbusters was a good movie, I am here to tell you that there is something wrong with you.

Sure, some jokes were good. And that is all there is to be said about it. It's a feminist all-terrain vehicle reboot movie, with a statement to make. The big problem is that it is all about the statement and the film itself, as art, entertainment and craft, is left behind to be scaffolding, like a metallic structure, caging it in meaningless female energy.**

Jokes kinda had to be made, so they were forced in there, probably with a crowbar. I get it, I really do. Chris Hemsworth's character was the amalgam of every stupid assistant/receptionist eye-candy ever made, but he came across as literally retarded, and not funny. Just a statement.
The cast from the old movies was there to be killed off or just make an appearance as a generally unlikable cameo. It was a changing of the guard, a statement. It could've been a good thing, lending credibility to the new crew, instead it came off as a half-hearted fuck you to the old crew.

Story was meeh.
Characters were urgh.
Villain was eesh.
Action sequences were umfh.

Some jokes were ok.
Visually good, huzzah!

Maybe I'm just to misogynistic to get it, I don't know. I'm a guy and I totally hated it. I hate it because it could've been GREAT. Instead it was turned into a stupid reboot with a mission. I'm not saying it is a bad movie because the 'busters were all female, I'm fine with that. I'm saying it is bad movie because of the ham-fisted way they made it into a bad movie about girl-power. If you are one of those people who just go "Yaaay, women instead of men!" at any cost, then I have to ask you
-Really, at any cost? Because you are not only getting bad movies here, in the US of A, they are voting in Hillary. People are getting voted to presidency because of their genitals. And here I thought that was the opposite of equality. No, I get it, a female president of the US, is fine. But will any woman do, is that it? Obama was a good enough first black president. He was intelligent, eloquent and didn't fuck up anything too badly. Is Hillary really the best they can do for first female president?
Come on. Don't make it into just another statement.
I'd vote for Trump by the way. Who knows, he'd might break the system.


  
Anyway, I have some awesome ideas that I hope some company with a true sense of social justice will pick up on.

Blues Sisters - Jaqueline and Elveena are two musicians on the run from the laws of men. Follow them as they tour across America while they raise money to shut down the orphanage where they were molested by priests as teens.

Trans-Transformers - More than meets the eye, robots in disguise. The tag line says it all, really.

Pretty Man - A fairytale about a misguided man-whore, who gets turned into a caring and supporting man-toy by a successful business-princess with a heart of gold.

Indiana Jones and the secret of the patriarchy - Emma Watson is Indiana Jones, female archaeologist and adventurer. Follow her as she fights the agents of an ancient evil and uncovers the truth about everything.

James Bond - Public Secret - Britain's secret agent has a private secret and makes it public. This thrilling action-spy-drama sees Bond lose his job and get death threats on facebook, because of his bravery.

Jamie Bond - I am bond - Bond is back, and she is classier, deadlier, sexier than ever.



Warner bros, 21thCF, anyone?



*Possibly they pay me to do this, possibly they just download me for free, fair is fair.
**I'm so clever.

I'm not the warrior poet.

A chain of thoughts.

Once were warriors is a film about Maori in a modern New Zealand. The sequel is called What becomes of the broken hearted. I remember the titles, not so much the plot, except that they were good. I think I used to be a warrior, when I was young. I'm certainly not a Maori, but maybe my ancestors were Vikings. They were warriors. And proud. I used to fight a lot, when I was little. Not so much these days. There is no more fight in me. My grandmother on my father's side was from Poland. She was probably not from a Viking line. I don't remember much of my fighting days, my memories of childhood are like Swizz cheese, full of holes. But maybe I was proud in my youth. It would be nice to think I fought from pride from time to time, and not always from necessity. Don't know why fighting because of pride is better than other reasons to fight, except it would be nice to have some. Pride, I mean. We are not Vikings any more. Maybe we are broken hearted. I think I am. The world isn't the promise you once were given, and no matter how much you fight, you cannot change that. The time to put your boat to the waves, sail to distant shores and claim new land, is gone. I'm not a Maori nor a Viking, and I don't have a boat. I do have a heart. It pumps blood through my body, every day, every minute until I die. It works quite well. It only feels like it's broken.

Hellblazer is a comic from DC. In one issue, a homeless man shouts "I don't want your money, I want your love", then throws himself in front of a train. I think I would like to have both. My own money and my own love, but maybe yours would be good too. I've been spending a lot of money lately. Not so much love. The results have not been optimal, but maybe satisfactory. It is hard to be a loving person, so I try to settle for decent instead. Maybe I should give more of my money to charity, instead of spending them on myself. I like to believe I spread the wealth to my friends and family. Not sure I do. Keyword is believe. Besides, I'm not a rich man. Poor men seldom change the world, at least not for the better. It is easier for a poor man with a rifle to change the world for the worse, than it is for a poor man with a pen to change it for the better. Maybe the pen is mightier than the sword, but never bring a pen to gunfight. The age of noble warriors is gone. Pens are mostly used to sign documents these days. My weapon of choice is the pen. In my mind it has become a symbol of corruption, politics and secret trade agreements. Maybe I should get a sword instead. I do all my writing on my computer, so much for the pen.

Pray Nightfall is a song by Paradise Lost. The lyrics are sparse. Sometimes less is more, though this seems a blatant lie and a trick of the mind. I always feel my words are small, little. They don't have meaning, they have no weight. I don't know how to say what needs to be said, be it on screen, paper or by mouth. In my head this all is is repeated throughout the song. That feels about right to me. It wouldn't be so bad, if other people would say what needed saying. Maybe I should stop expecting things from my environment, but I think the day I do that, is the day my heart becomes broken in the real meaning of the word. Words are cheap. It is like I lessen myself  and the world every time I say something meaningless.  Maybe I once was a warrior. Maybe I'm broken hearted. I'm not a Viking and I don't have a boat. What will become of me is a an open question. I would like both money and love, but it is hard to figure out which one is more sparsely handed out in this day and age. I'm not a warrior and I'm not a poet.  This is all in my head, where words are not cheap until they are spoken.

Smoking weed, steam or cigarettes? Follow the money straight to the deathtrap. (Bigger than Jesus meeting between Illuminati and big pharma)

“Here is my final point...About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography...What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, or take into my body as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet? And for those who are having a little moral dilemma in your head about how to answer that question, I'll answer it for you. NONE of your fucking business. Take that to the bank, cash it, and go fucking on a vacation out of my life.”   - Bill Hicks



Who benefits? Follow the money. If you haven't learned to ask this important question and the very important follow-up anywhere else, then you can learn it right now, as I take it straight from Commander Vimes' mouth, courtesy of Terry Pratchett. In this case we shall apply said question to our lovely smoking habits.

Today's trigger is the ongoing debate about electronic cigarettes/vaping/steaming. Whatever you want to call it, I will call them ECs. These wonderful gadgets allow smokers and nicotine addicts to inhale as much nicotine-filled, or indeed nicotine-free, steam as they wish, without all that tar, smoke, benzene and various poisonous fumes slowly killing them. Hooray, right? Shame on you, you are dead wrong. The powers that be are doing everything they can to stop this from happening. 

Why? Follow the money.

But first let's have a look at what this is. Without being an expert, it seems to me that liquid or crystalized nicotine is heated and then inhaled as steam. There are flavors that can be added, gadgets that can customize the EC experience in whatever way you wish. You can even inhale flavored steam totally without nicotine. All this without destroying you lungs or getting all sorts of cancer. Yes, sure this is relatively new thing, but everyone agree that it is much healthier than regular smoking. Yes, there has been a couple of studies done saying that the use of ECs is extremely bad. These have been thoroughly discredited and/or debunked. Some say that there are possible long-term effects that are yet to be observed. This is of course possible, the point is that the same people usually state that there is no question about ECs being less harmful than traditional cigarettes by miles.
And let's face it, if they could've proved that regular use of ECs would harm you significantly or just plain kill you any time soon, they would've been all over it a long time ago, the big money would've dropped the other shoe before you could exhale.

My personal experience with ECs is great. I'm a raging nicotine addict. Using ECs I'm down to two cigarettes a day when at work. And ok, some more when at parties and festivals, but I don't need the cigarettes any more. I know many people who have stopped smoking regular cigarettes all together with the help of ECs.

So why is this not recognized world wide and celebrated? Follow the money. Who has a lot of money to gain or lose?

First off, there is the tobacco industry. They have a lot of money to lose. They also have a lot of money to begin with, and have their own tobacco lobbyists to discredit ECs. I mean, come on, if correctly marketed and priced, ECs could take over the entire tobacco market in the western world, of course the tobacco people are worried. Tobacco industry wants ECs dead.

Then there is Big Pharma. They don't necessarily hate the idea of ECs, but they want them all for themselves. So to them the idea is that ECs should be regulated as medicine and only sold by pharmacies. Who could blame them for wanting the ECmoney, right? But that would kill off a lot of competition and make ECs a more expensive and exclusive product, not so great for the consumer.

So there is a tug-of-war between those two industries and their evil as hell lobby groups. The EC companies are new and small time compared to these industrial behemoths, so it seems like a rather one-sided battle. On top of that, there are the various health departments and organizations of various countries and the world in general*. One could think that they would embrace new products that are a healthier alternative to one of the most health-damaging products for years and years? One would be terribly wrong in thinking that. They drag their feet, ask for more tests, side with one lobby or the other and look for what taxation opportunities there are to be capitalized on. They are either ignorant and behind the times, buried in bureaucracy, fanatical health-freaks or grabbing money. Possibly all of the alternatives. Weep and despair, folks.

Now, let's have a look at the war on drugs. Possibly not the best tie-in ever, but I don't care, this has pissed me off for years, and both topics involve smoking and Potatobeak HateCat gave me the go-ahead.

First of all. If this is indeed a war, has anybody ever won it? Has any nation ever declared victory in the war on drugs and just celebrated victory and made peace? No. Or possibly some nations proclaim "We have no drugs nor problems with drugs." Those are the places you don't want to live. No, not because you can't get your drugs of choice, you damned hippie, but because those are places with a dictator or militaristic or possibly religious regime that will lock you up if you blink in a funny way, and they probably have drugs, they just won't admit it to the rest of the world and join in on our ongoing war of stupidity. Anyways, if this is a war, when do we count the casualties, the expenses and consequences? And if we do those things, where do we draw the line and say "Enough, it is time to pull out our troops and cut our losses."? Because there are casualties, both the obvious and the more subtle ones, but the numbers, if you add them up, are HUGHE!

 In Mexico there is an actual war, with cartels and private armies fighting the regular army with thousands of deaths. This is not an unknown situation throughout the rest of Central and South America neither.
The more subtle casualties are the overdoses, the lives ruined because of drug-related crime and the very criminalization of people whose only crime is to do recreational drugs.

But drugs are bad, or so I've heard it said.  Well, so is alcohol and smoking, yet we don't declare war on beer and cigarettes. The casualties from alcohol and cigarettes are already humongous, imagine the death tolls of the infamous "Cigs and beer-war of '15"? Holy crap, what a bad idea.
But I digress.
Sure, some drugs are super-bad for you, they won't kill you slowly, they will kill you instantly or at least ruin your life. A question not often asked in public is - would they have ruined said life they were legal? I'm just saying.
Anyways, I'm not suggesting to legalize everything and shouting everything goes from the rooftops, nope, I'm flat out saying that legalizing all variations of marihuana would benefit the world in general greatly. I would also suggest that doctors should be able to prescribe heavy drugs like heroin to long time addicts. I see very few cons and oh so many pros.

Let's see now.

You would take the money away from criminal gangs and organizations, and the government would actually be able to tax now illegal drugs and make money. This would be an effective way to hamper organized crime as opposed to what we are doing now.
Look at the prohibition time in USA, talk about generating crime.
People who occasionally enjoy weed but otherwise are perfectly well behaved, wouldn't be criminals. This means that regular people who wouldn't hurt a fly, would not have to live in fear of the police. This only breeds unnecessary animosity between law enforcement and the populace.
Besides, if you know that you are a criminal in the eyes of the law, isn't it that much easier to go ahead and be a little more criminal?
One might even go so far as to say that it would shorten the increasing divide between the classes. Involving a lawyer in anything greatly reduces the amount of penalty, if any, one receives for minor crimes, meaning if you have money, you might pay a small fine or go Scott free, whereas poorer people seldom have a decent lawyer at hand. Paying the fine can potentially seriously harm their economy and not paying land them in jail, and so it could be argued that current policies on drugs are enforcing the divide between rich and poor in any nation. 
Drawing a clearer line between heavy drugs and lighter drugs, and officially making some legal and others illegal, would help to set dangerous drugs aside and make a more conscious and clear divide between these.
Various green stuff has shown its worth in medicine, and new uses are being discovered continuously. I'm not saying it is a wonder drug, but it is in many cases a beneficial drug.

So why should doctors give junkies heroin? Well, if you've tried rehab four times, have to be a criminal in order to raise the money you need for drugs and live on the street, I would argue that the best option for everyone involved would be to give this person heroin. Yes, it is, don't argue.
Said person's quality of life is just about zero. Said person would not be forced into prostitution or stealing, but would in fact might be able to produce something of value to society and actually manage to hold some sort of job or at least not be a criminal. No scratch that. The argument to do this is really about giving someone who has tried every other option a chance to have an actual life. All other gains are secondary.

So what is going on with this so called war on drugs? Some countries and American states have surrendered, at least in part, and arranged a tenuous peace. They seem to be still functional, no anarchy or Armageddon has broken out. Yet governments and various law-enforcement agencies across the globe seems to be fighting to keep the status quo, tooth and nail. Why?

It could be the money. Some places have laws that allow the police to seize any assets that are in any way linked to illegal drugs and trade of such. That is a huge bonus for any department. The thousands of yearly fines paid for petty possessions must be astronomical.  There is also employment to be considered. What will all those people who are employed in a useless war do, if the war is suddenly massively scaled down? Well, their general and employer could either make the troops crack down harder on the drugs that are still illegal, but I suspect many soldiers would have to look elsewhere for jobs. Jobs are currently, as always, a big deal everywhere. We might also consider this war in the way it tends to target the poor rather than the rich. This could potentially blow the mind of any fan of Illuminati-conspiracies**. It is undeniable that the war on drugs is a great tool for any government to wield against its population. If money = power, then we can still follow the money, in any form the cash might take.
But it is also a question of having the political balls to oppose the values of the conservative, religious, traditional, small-minded side that will butcher anyone who suggests such a move. You will potentially lose your career and power and gain nothing. It is a stupid old world, and it needs to change, yes, but not at my expense, you know?

Do I have point? NO! No great point to be made. Except that the war on drugs do more bad than good such as it is now, I mean if you want drugs you will get them, right? That points to the war being lost on a daily basis, and that isn't going to change, so why the blog bother? Oh yeah, and that smoking ECs is a hell of a lot better for you than regular cigarettes.

 Maybe I should make some sort of statement in the name of responsibility?

So, uhm.
Don't do bad drugs and don't drive while under the influence of drugs.






*No chance of them being corrupt or following the money at all, is there?
** You morons.

Don't give in to stupidity and fear - part 2 (History repeating.)

"In the defense of our nation, a president must be a clear-eyed realist. There are limits to the smiles and scowls of diplomacy. Armies and missiles are not stopped by stiff notes of condemnation. They are held in check by strength and purpose and the promise of swift punishment." - George W. Bush


Surely you read part 1? Good.

It is time to Stock up on canned food for humans and cats alike, according to media we are heading for a new cold war. Well, color me impressed, I really didn't think we would let it get that far. But I like to be prepared, and I've got very little faith in people in general, so I actually have a small stockpile of durable foodstuffs. I'm not a survivalist nutcase, I'm a realist, or so my cat keeps telling me. When everything goes wrong, I will be stuffing my face with delicious baked beans. I also have canned ham if the zombies come before the Russians.*
I'm not actually worried, the headlines are always dramatic, or someone wouldn't be doing their job very well, but there is some truth to it, the situation between Russia and, well, the world**, isn't cheerful. But as they say, it takes two to move their bodies together to a complicated early 20th century Latino rhythm. Meaning, what the hell are you all up to, what on earth are you thinking and what can I do to make you stop being stupid? These are not rhetorical questions. Somehow, we let this happen, ignore the problem or just grumble about evil Russians.
This will certainly help just as much as the good old "duck and cover". If only the Japanese had heard this phrase, thousands would've been saved. But then again, I suppose the point was to kill them.

The point of a cold war is not to kill anyone, as opposed to the famous hot wars. Well, isn't that a good thing, not killing each other, I hear no one in particular ask. Yes, I answer, and most people manage that every day without entering a verbal agreement with his neighbor that neither part will firebomb the other's house.
I sometimes talk with people in Eastern Europe, and they tell me the tanks are rolling through the streets where they live. At first I was surprised, now it seems commonplace. NATO is showing muscles, just in case Russia invades anyone they shouldn't. And I'm totally confused as to why we are entering this particular scenario again. Surely, the Russians love their children too. I mean, come on, here I was, thinking the nuclear arms race was more or less over, and we could worry about other things. But no, of course not, let us worry some more about nuclear holocaust. Our parents had such a blast digging token shelters in their gardens, we simply need to bring that back. We can pretend we live in Vault 13, it will be amusing, haha.

But wait a second. I just said the point of a cold war is to not kill anybody. Where is the danger, and what exactly is the point? Well, the danger comes from the politicians, corporations and international organizations that stoke the fires. They are clearly not good people. They might even be slightly unstable, have substance abuse problems or just be plain evil. For the most part, they just tend to prioritize money and power over everything else. And these people are the same people with the finger on the big, red nuclear buttons, or  maybe they just control said finger, it doesn't really matter. What really gets me, is that these are the same people with access to fallout shelters that might actually work. Do not for a second believe that this brewing conflict is about difference in ideologies, politics or even ethics. If the world cared even the slightest about Putin knocking off the political competition by making them dead, protecting Russians in other countries by invasion, promoting hate crime against gays or just being insanely macho, we wouldn't have given him the Olympics. The point of a new cold war would only be about money. And possibly power for the sake of power.
I hate to say this, but the damn hippies and conspiracy theorists were right on this.

USA has had a wartime economy ever since WW2. They spend insane amounts of money on defense contracts, new hardware, ships, planes and gadgets. More than any other country in the world, probably more than most other countries combined. If you hadn't noticed, the American economy hasn't been all that hot lately, neither has that of many European countries who happen to be a part of NATO, for that matter. It would be impossible for USA to change gears to peacetime economy at this point. They have used small and big wars to fuel their economy for 70 years. If the war wasn't hot, then the cold war would work just as fine until something better came along. You think I'm making this up? Use the internets, google it. War all the time. Reagan even made his own Star Wars project for blogs sake. Russia now being somewhat a lesser threat than back in the glorious USSR times, it seems the threat rests more firmly on the European countries. This works even better for USA, it's even a boon for Russia. All the better if this is mostly a regional conflict. The region still needs loans, equipment and suitable cultural entertainment.***

So why do I insist that everybody are stupid? Except for the obvious reasons (and fear), we live in democracies.**** This means we elect representatives to carry out our will. I love the term "public servants", that is exactly what they are, at  least in theory. So in a way, we are responsible - No, I don't care if you didn't vote for this or that person or didn't vote at all, you are still responsible as a human blogging being. Please, please use your grey matter, be aware of what is actually going on, question the news and don't give in to fear. The fear-dollar is big enough as it is.


*It's a classic. Zombie apocalypse and ham are like hand and glove. For some reason.
**Except those countries not bordering to Russia, not a close partner to USA or a part of NATO, so we are mainly talking about USA and Europe. You know, the world.
***See, I said everything was connected!
****If you, the reader, somehow has managed to read this from North-Korea or similar, I salute you.

Don't give in to stupidity - part 1 (We have nothing to fear but fear itself.)

"In the late 1930s, as Britain refused to adapt to the new realities of war, Winston Churchill observed, "The era of procrastination, of half-measures, of soothing and baffling expedients, of delays, is coming to a close. In its place we are entering a period of consequences."

- George W. Bush


Today, while I was at work, I was hearing all sorts of news.
First of all, the supreme court of USA legalized gay marriage nationwide. Good for them. Seriously.

Second, IS seems to have let all hell loose, wherever they had the opportunity. This worries me, because it worries other people. The news these days, are mostly bad. Religious fanatics, cold war, racism, it is a hell of a stew. People get frightened. Fright is contagious. It makes people stupid. It makes people do stupid things. Like throwing their freedom out the window.
I'm of course talking about the Patriot Act, the famous piece of American legislation, where people in power capitalized on the fear of the powerless. The personal freedom and rights of any and all citizens was greatly reduced. Fear mongering also let them start a couple of wars against people they had previously trained and armed themselves.*
Europe has had it's own share of terrorism, both religious and political motivated, but so far we've not gone totally overboard on cutting civil rights. Sure, we've got new security routines at airports and we had to join said wars, but hey, a deal is a deal, and we are all members of the club called NATO and so on.
But as the threats increase, we seem to mess up. The police in Norway are now armed with firearms in most situations.  We recently cut down on transparency in political processes. This seems to be solely for the sake of bureaucracy, but it doesn't make it any better. Damn you world, you are making me smoke actual cigarettes at home again. Anyways, I predict that terrorism will be a prevalent story in the news for some time. There will be speculations about threats to Norway. There will be questions about how well we are prepared for worst case scenarios. All this at a time where our prime minister already is worried about Russian spies,*** and an elevated threat level in Europe because of the situation in the Ukraine. More about that in part 2. Point is, people will be stupid. I implore people to not be so. Let the media and politicians rant and rave about the dangers of the world, but for blogs sake, let's not buy into it  ourselves. Please don't believe the hype, and don't let your political representative misrepresent you. When the government limits your liberty, the terrorists win.**** When you are afraid, the terrorists win. When we bomb the shit out of some country to kill the terrorists, we generate more terrorists and the terrorists win yet again. When we arm the rebels to overthrow the regime we don't like, we end up arming IS. Terrorists win. This is not counterstrike. This is the real world. Only damn way to beat this is by not being afraid and therefor not stupid.

Anyways, gay marriage, eyh? Textbook example of people being unafraid from the supreme court. Use your brain if you are going to hate something, it is a big decision. Don't use your heart or guts for hate, those are for loving and eating.


*This will be another case of everything is connected to everything else, as you will see in part 2**
**If you bother to read it that is. But take my word for it, everything is connected to everything else.
***Of all things to worry about....
****And so does the government.  Yes, they do, don't argue.

Spoilers gallore! (will contain spoilers, for real)

Yes, so... Due to mental lethargy, I've not been producing these last months. That may or may not change, but as of right now, this here moment in time and space as I am occupying it,* I am producing this here big list of spoilers to punish you. I would like to punish the film industry and their promotion-people, but let's face it, they will not read this, so I punish you. Also - thank you Scrubs.

I am in my prime. That means I remember VHS. These splendid magnetic tapes held movie magic in their spools. After the movie, you had something sort of trailing after the main attraction, some small promotional teasers for future attractions - trailers.

Trailers are no longer to be found after a movie. If you are a slightly out of touch and still use DVDs and blu-rays and such, they are to be found before the stuff you actually would like to see. If you just download everything or stream it, you dodge that stuff altogether.
But then there is the internets. Oh yes, YouTube, Imdb and Facebook will show you all the latest trailers, teasers, promos and featurettes. Sometimes, that is ok. About 70% of the time, it is NOT ok, as they will contain so much of the plot and potential spoilers, that you might as well just watch the trailer and don't bother with the rest hour and a half of film, as you've already know what will happen.

All right, so you stay away from these digital spoiler-factories, then you should be good, all fresh and oblivious to what the latest blockbuster or your favorite show has in store for you? Of course not. Because people are basically bad at keeping their mouth shut.** They will happily tell you all about the Red wedding, long before it comes up, because they read the books (as they should), and they will post RIP Opie all over their facewall while you are still on season two.

So here is the deal. As a public service, I will go ahead and give you all the spoilers I can come up with, without actually telling what show, franchise or movie it is from. It will be done solely with the help of my spotty memory. You will have to find out if you've seen it and know the reference. It's a game. It will be fun. Come on.

Spoilers ahoy!


Bruce Willis was dead for most of the time. The kid sees dead people, remember?

Other than that, Bruce Willies never dies. Oh, except for when he saves mankind from asteroids.

The literal hand of god comes out of the sky and detonates the nuke, while transporting the good guy away from Vegas. Shittiest ending to a great story ever.

Darth Vader is indeed Luke's father, but despite the handicap of having been Hayden Christensen in his youth, he saves Luke in a last ditch effort of parenting.

The spooky voodoo ritual she performs will not save her, it will transport her soul into the old gals body and vice versa. Surprise!

I don't know about the movie, but in the comic, Batman beats the shit out of Superman with a little help from his friends.

Ryan makes it home. 90% of the guys who are sent to rescue him die. Someone didn't think this through.

The outlander kills the vengeful alien with a little help from his Viking friends. He also gets the girl.
Poor alien.

Speaking of aliens, Ripley will always survive, even when she dies.

Sofia Coppola dies, leaving her father as an old, broken man who falls dead on his face thinking it was all for nothing.

They were not dead the whole time. You will never understand the island!

Dicaprio is not a federal marshal, he's just crazy.

Matt Damon is the informant. Wahlberg kills him in the end. The Asian original is hereby spoiled too.

Is there a Keyser Soze or is there only Kevin Spacey?

Speaking of Spacey: He has Gwyneth Paltrow's head sent to Brad Pitt, forcing him to kill him.

The Sopranos don't do so well in cars.

William Shatner and James Spader marry each other in the last episode. 

Samurais are awesome, but not even Tom Cruise can save them from a Gatling gun.

Bob the demon possessed Laura Palmer's father. He killed her. Bob takes over agent Cooper in the end.

In the comics, Glenn gets beaten to death. Andrea is still alive though, so you never know.

Ozymandias saves the world by killing thousands. Dr. Manhattan kills Rorschach. Rorschach destroys plot to save world from beyond the grave.

Lenny Nero is not paranoid, his best friend is trying to kill and frame him. Juliette Lewis is very pretty.

Sam and Frodo marry each other and live happily ever after. So does Legolas And Gimli. No, I lie, everyone has a bad time and then die sooner or later. Legolas and Gimli have a good time, though.

A broke tank can't handle hundreds of axis. Everyone dies except new guy.

The guy from Spain kills the emperor, then bleeds out in the arena.

Spartacus dies. So do everyone who claim to be him.

Riddick is super-ninja-cool. He survives monsters and bounty hunters, he keeps what he kills, gets betrayed and kills more monsters and bounty hunters. Yes!

There is no Earth, except Earth is what you make it. The cylons do whatever they do and most of the cast die before they get there anyway. Angels exist and they are very fond of sex. Starbuck pulls a Jesus.

Lucy Lawless always gets shafted. Mhm.

Wash and Shepherd die. The rest of the lot continues to misbehave. Don't expect any sequels.

Doctor Holiday kills people who aren't daisies, then succumb to consumption. Mr. Earp lives on room service and love 'til the day he dies.

Gene kills Morgan, Clint kills gene. No one were forgiven that day.

The Ship hits an iceberg and sinks. Leo drowns. Winslet has spectacular bosoms.

Kong goes to the city, climbs a bit, gets shot by planes, falls down and dies. Depending on what timeline you are on, of course.

Roland enters the Dark Tower to save the rose. The journey continues ad infinitum.

Hugh Jackman cheats with the help of David Bowie. Christian Bale has a twin.

Bilbo goes there and back again. The hunky dwarves die.

It is not futile to resist the Borg.

Vic Mackey gets immunity. The rest of the squad, not so much.

Hawkeye gets the girl. The penultimate Mohican and his girl die. 

Troy gets burned to the ground. Legolas shoots Achilles in the heel. Everyone are retards.

He is not the messiah, just a very naughty boy. He still gets crucified. Mel Gibson directs.


















 

 





































*You, the reader, will be at somewhere completely different location on the time/space cake chart, not unlike Matthew McConaughey in the movie Interstellar, where he knocks down stuff from a bookshelf.
**And soooo many other things. Like Dennis Quaid in Pandorum. The cap has issues.

The Age of Denial. (Guatemalan goats will kill us all.)

"Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see Armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this
Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of freaks" - Ænema, Tool


So.
Happy new year everybody, and congratulations. You survived to celebrate life in a giant feast of fireworks, food and alcohol. I know I did. We didn't blog up and die. Our bodies didn't go all wonky and betray us with a random heart attack. The titans of the world didn't cause any wars or catastrophes that killed us. Lots of other people, but not us in particular.  Congratulations.
Now I'm going to tell you why we are all doomed.

Early morning on the first day of the year 2015, I had a long conversation, some of it about this blog. Normally, I don't remember much of anything after drinking for 12 hours, but sometimes I come out at the other side, with a alcohol fueled brain and a clearness of thought that's denied me on most days. You are reading the result.

The reason we are doomed is money.
I've touched the subject before, but I'll do it in detail now*. 

In the good old days, when things were really crappy, we didn't have money. We bartered. Then we got kings, emperors and pharaohs. They made money, which is great. Money means you don't have to trade sexual services, manual labor, food or trinkets for those exact same things from others. Coins were soon minted in various precious minerals, like copper, brass, gold and silver**.
It became a bit of a hassle to walk around with heaps of gold and silver in your pocket when you wanted to go shopping, so we collectively agreed we could make symbolic trade tokens of very specific values instead. And there you have modern paper money and coins.

But really, say you were the monarch of Guatemala or some such person. You couldn't just declare your paper tokens to be worth 5000 goats a piece.  You still went by the gold standard. Your country had this much gold and silver and such? Well, that's what your money represented and was worth.
Simple enough. But not very convenient if you were the monarch of Guatemala and had no gold but lots of goats. So we agreed that your country's currency could have a relative value. This relative value would be directly linked to some big solid currency, backed by lots of gold, goats and other natural resources. A currency everyone could trust. The mighty dollar. Your goat-backed Guatemalan lire is worth this much compared to the American dollar. Simple enough.***

Let's fast forward through some wars, and presidential assassinations to our old friend and all time favorite Tricky Dick Nixon, creator of masks, slogans and president of the USA. Also a fine magician. His greatest magic trick, was this. He told the world that USA would no longer base the worth of a single dollar on how much gold it would get you from Fort Knox. And the world said "Fine." We all went along with this idea of make-believe value of money, and an entire economical system that only works IF YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. That is quite some trick.

So the next question is, what does the president of USA do, when his nation needs more money. Unlike his friend from Guatemala, he can't just ask the farmers to get more goats. We are no longer on a goat standard. We are on NO STANDARD. The president simply asks the big bank called the federal reserve to make him more money. He will promise to pay them back. This is a promise he cannot keep, but we all pretend otherwise. While the Americans are sticking their head in the sand, what do the rest of the international community do? We invest in their operation to ram our heads our asses and DON'T THINK, by buying USA's national debt to the federal reserve. I have frankly no idea why. It is like gentleman's agreement to not see what is in front of you and piling denial on top of that. There is an old idea that the dollar and capitalism cannot fail, maybe it just force of habit - invest in USA, invest in dollars, it cannot fail. It cannot fail. Holy crap. You remember when those big banks failed in 08? Because of bad debt? They were considered too big to fail. Remember the shit-storm that followed? We are still feeling consequences world wide from that. That was a cozy walk in the park compared to what is coming. Society as we know it might blogging end. We are FUCKING DOOMED. I'M NOT JOKING!****  We are all depending on everyone else not telling the king that his clothes are invisible and in fact not there at all. And you can tell that that one little kid with the stupid look on his face is about to start yelling. The signs that the age of denial is coming to an end. Maybe the crack in 08 paved the way for new thoughts. Authors, journalists and standup comedians are comfortably dropping references to the dollar being hollow in their material and books. The thought has made its way to popular culture.

American government  neither can nor will pay their debt to the federal reserve. Not a snowball's chance in hell. We are buying their debt. We are basing the world's economy on this debt. The sums are gargantuan.

We have an economical system that is based on eternal growth. Show me one single example of a closed system that can keep growing eternally. No? This is why nations have a license to print money. This is why we have inflation. This is why the smaller denominations of currency keep on disappearing and the numbers on the bills are getting higher.
We are clinging to a trickle down system of money that makes very, very few people richer and the rest is in fact getting poorer, in terms of divide. All this is of course false, because the money is not actually there.

Current world debt: 55 000 000 000 000$.
Over 95% of all systemized value in the world is debt. We are getting by on IOUs and money that don't exist other that theoretical numbers on screens and bits of paper. There are not enough goats in the world to barter you out of this mess, my friend. We are, in fact, utterly blogged.

I still fear I fail to make the point clear. This is because this issue is so spectacularly grand in scale, that I can't fathom it myself. I am myself a victim of this age of denial. My only weapon, the written word, isn't sufficient.. My disappointment in the powers that be, 99% of every person with a degree in economy, and people in general is too great a thing to put in words.
This cake is the biggest collective lie in our history.
Google is your friend.
Good night and good luck.




*General, vague details.
**Also, salt has been popular.
***Not really.
****Seriously.

The numbers game. (Stupid dogs, dying gorillas, we hate the right-wing politics. Also Jennifer Lawrence naked)

Yet another dark and rainy night, the man and the cat remains the same.

Cat: Get down on your knees and worship me. Also, it would make it easier for me to lick your ears.
Me: Not now, I'm not in the mood. My time these days is strictly for killing digital people online and brooding.
Cat: Your cooperation is appreciated but not necessary, I have these claws here...
Me: Oy, stop it, you little devil spawn! No means no! Are you aware it has been suggested that I add a dog to this blog? An idea that seems better by the minute, by the way.
Cat: What?
Me: Yes, introducing a stupid but lovable pup to counterbalance all your... devilry.
Cat: What?
Me: I admit, it sounds a bit like the "Get Fuzzy" comic, but I doubt it wo-
Cat: WHAT?!
Me:  A dog.
Cat: Here?
Me: I suppose so.
Cat: But you don't have a dog. You don't need a dog, it would be like clamp on your foot, making demands on you.
Me: Yes, not like you at all.
Cat: Exactly. And everyone knows dogs are stupid and they can't talk. It would be a burden in your life and useless to the blog. And introducing imaginary, talking animals is out of the question, right?
Me: Point taken, no dogs in Casa del Hate. Now, go away and leave me and my brooding alone.
Cat. Why the mood?
Me: The numbers. The dreadful algebra of necessity.



An article was recently pointed out to me as particularly good news. It was about various reports on how good life on this earth has become. Studies saying that life expectancy has increased. There are fewer wars. Less poverty. So as Potatobeak Cat would say*, I want to play a game. A game about numbers and logic and research.

There are more than 7000 000 000 souls on this planet, despite the 800 000 people taking their own lives every year. There is 326 million trillion gallons of water on Earth. 2-3% of this is fresh water. Most of it is frozen or too deep beneath ground to be utilized. Nestle is currently buying water rights left and right while claiming that fresh water is not a human right. The company themselves claim  "However, our global operations amount to only 0.0009% of worldwide estimated freshwater withdrawals." I can't be bothered to crunch those numbers or check what their own estimates of freshwater withdrawals actually are. It is, however, a lot of water. When the war for oil is over, I predict the war for water, if it doesn't begin before the oil runs out, that is.

Perspective is a funny thing. It's funny because it seems to be playing a game of hide and seek, often showing up long after the game is over. The United States of America is the protector of the free world, the champion of freedom and liberty. Our own government is looking to USA for direction and it seems that the parties currently in charge would like Norway to become a small-time version of our American friends. They seem to lack perspective, and so does USA.

In the land of the free and home of the incarcerated, one in every 31 adults was in jail, on probation or parole in 2008. Almost one in ten of African Americans were in jail or being monitored. In 2011 about 2,9% of all adults in the US were under correctional supervision. That's almost 7000 000 people, more than the entire population of Norway. Private jails, private security, private army contractors, what a great idea.
In the book The Divide: American Injustice in the Age of the Wealth Gap, the author, journalist Matt Taibbi claims that "Poverty goes up. Crime goes down. The prison population doubles.
Fraud by the rich wipes out 40 percent of the world’s wealth. The rich get massively richer. No one goes to jail." , and that you don't have to read sci-fi to find a dystopian future, we're indeed living in one right now. Perspective and numbers, what a joy. Yes, the wealth of the world's population is growing, but the divide between the many just around the poverty line and the very few filthy rich on the top is bigger than ever. The richest 1% of the world’s population are getting wealthier, owning more than 48% of global wealth, according to an article in The Guardian. 

There is the great Ebola scare, and Ebola is really scary, yes indeed. So is HIV/AIDS.  The current Ebola epidemic might have killed as many as 18 000, but less than 5000 deaths are actually confirmed. There are currently 35 000 000 world vide living with HIV/AIDS. More than 3.4 million people die each year from water, sanitation, and hygiene-related causes. Death by lack of clean water, that is.***

We are not totally sure how many nuclear weapons are around****, but probably somewhere around  16 300. We can only hope the owners remember where they put them all.

There are 143 800 000 Russians, and 1 Putin to rule them all. He seems to want more. This is the guy who said that the greatest tragedy in newer history, was the fall of the soviet union. Think about that.

880 - the population of mountain gorillas left in the world.


Yes, there might be fewer wars between nations, but the world is actually less peaceful, due to internal unrest within national borders. I'll even throw in a link, something I rarely do, mostly to prove my point and don't have the patience to type it all up.
http://www.psmag.com/navigation/business-economics/world-getting-less-peaceful-every-year-85360/

I like to get a feel for the broad perspective and let my guts come up with ideas, then let the brain do the mop-up work. As I've said before, hate with your brain and let your heart do other important things.**** So what is my gut and broad strokes-thinking  telling me?
Well.
I hate that saying "Things were better before." It seldom was. But how blogging terrible is it going to be when that saying is true? Because things are not peachy today. How far forward will we have to go for this to be true? Because things superficially might look good, but there are so many factors racing to a climax that we might not bare. There is a reason why physicists who kill themselves quote the laws of thermodynamics, the systems will deteriorate. If you are one of the privileged, maybe on the blue side politically, maybe fairly comfortable economically speaking, maybe even religious (and what a great safety net that is), yes, you'll probably be optimistic. I sense another trend. A very real fear that the world we know might collapse. The dreadful algebra. What will happen when the dollar implodes on itself? Because it will. What will you do when Nestle tell you to buy water from them because it is the only option? Because they might. Will we as a species feel lonely when we are the last big mammal on the planet? I suspect we will get additional existential angst. If our race doesn't crack first, that is. Then things will indeed have been better before. 


*And probably put on a mask and record the message.**
**It's a Saw reference, in case you didn't get it.
***Nestle is the world's largest food (and water) company in the world measured by revenues, btw.
****Strangely, the atomic powers are reluctant to give out exact numbers.
*****Like pumping blood.

The feminist problem and the lack of a final solution. (Mwahahaaha)

Time to get back on track, time to hate someone or something. So today, fine people, I shall hate feminism. Yes. I will hate the movement for equal rights. It annoys me. At the same time, I can't help but feel like I'm kicking a small puppy, it seems to be an easy target these days, and the movement has more schisms than a major religion. And yet, it annoys me. Probably because I'm a man.* Where is my world wide movement for equal rights? Celebrating manliness, beards and close study of the penis? Can we please get some focus on penis art? No, don't point at some phallic symbol, that doesn't count, I want some guy with a really long beard painting stuff with his schlong and naming it "Ode to my sack". That being said, there are plenty of women that are fed up by so called feminism, and different types of feminists that don't really get along with "those other feminists". That is usually a sign of something gone wrong. Not horribly let's-make-pipes-of-asbestos-wrong, but wrong enough to irritate the blog out of me. So let's have look.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.  
― Gloria Steinem

In the developed western world**, women have in general, reached equality. Well, at least they can vote, and that's what it was all about back in the days. In a logical world, the movement should have ended right there, I mean, think about it. You want the right to this and that? Well, good for you women, so do I, so I vote for the politician or party that will give me that. Or something approximating this and that, as the world isn't quite ready to recognize my this and that needs. Anyways, seems straight forward to me. But alas, I hear you scream it isn't so, and the evil patriarchy has thwarted your plans. What, who? The freemasons? Illuminati? Men in general? In all fairness, there are some valid points when statistics show an overabundance of men in some key positions, the problem is that those key positions are niches that have precious little to do with most people. Those key positions will not magically be filled by women, just by shouting "No means no".

Yes, no does indeed mean no. That phrase shows that you have mastered 2 words and possibly the understanding of one, but I have already covered this topic here: http://ihatetohatethethingsihate.blogspot.no/2014/04/sex-and-violence-one-where-we-poke-bear.html
***
Anyways, it seems rather straight forward to me. Women are smarter than men. They are better students, they mature faster and they get a running start at school where the boys kind of come limping after them. It should only be a matter of time before women surpass men on most fronts, education (and voting) is the key here. I don't have the numbers, but I'm willing to bet my neighbor's life that the percentage of women taking higher education has multiplied a few times the last 50 years.

So what is my big problem, really?

It could have something to do with a society beating itself to death with political labels and slowly dying under the weight of it's own morality and hypocrisy. The front page of the Spider Woman comic got a lot of flak from various fronts. If you don't know about it, use Google. The cover was made by an artist well known for his erotic work. That must be why she (miss spider) most of all resembles a giant penis, but that was not what the complaints were about. The body is too well defined, the pose is sexualized, blabla. When has any comic book superhero not been wearing revealing super-tight costumes? Are you seriously trying to tell me that the super guys don't show off their firm, muscular thighs, abs and buttocks? You even get quite a fait amount of "junk shots" from time to time. You know what is going on under that well-defined bulge. If I remember correctly it was even an alternative cover.
And while I'm on that topic, I want to throw out some names of franchises, like 300 and He-man. I mean, holy cow, where to begin? In 300 every man is a muscle machine in a skimpy outfit.**** He-man and his crew of comrades and enemies all have one thing in common. They are insanely muscled and wear little clothing except for boots and some sort of furry loincloths, breastplate optional. Men are portrayed as bodybuilding killing machines, and not necessarily with a lot going on in the brains department, and they are just as easily objectified. The difference is that is only ok for women to publicly say they are objectified. The social stigma for a man to come out and say he is abused by a spouse, is huge compared to the other way around. If your girlfriend beats you, you would probably be told to hit back. What if you don't want to hit back? What if the abuse isn't physical. Manning up won't help.

Maybe my problem is Anita Sarkeesian.  Damn, she is clever. Or at least I hope she is, the alternative is depressing. Of course the amount of abuse and threats she has received is unacceptable and inexcusable. But was it unexpected? If you've played any games online for any time at all, you know what random abuse and threats you will get from random gamers. And that is for taking the wrong lane, shooting them or having a high ping. If I wanted controversy and media coverage, I would take on online communities and gamers in general too. Sarkeesian points to reddit and 4chan in particular, well big whoop, what a surprise. And what is it she wants exactly? Games for girls? Well, that is sexist. Less killing of random female npcs? They go in the same virtual mass grave as all the male npcs. Mario getting saved by the princess? Then I suggest someone makes a franchise of their own instead of making demands of fat mushroom-eating Italian plumbers. There is in fact, no one forcing women to buy games they don't like or keeping them from making the games they want to play. Is there a market for something, well fine, then the product can be made and sold. Last time I checked, the gender balance of active gamers was 50/40-something to the guys, so it can't possibly all be that bad.

Another problem could be the Radioresepsjonen debacle. It's a Norwegian comedy radio show, where one of the guys, yes, they are 3 guys, called a 19 year old so called "pink blogger", a fuck doll. Time to check our priorities. There is an ebola epidemic in Africa. Russia is semi invading Ukraine. People die from hunger every day. Some policeman, sorry, policeperson, probably shot another black kid in the US just now. Are we going to have a big discussion about this? They certainly have said far worse on many occasions. And let's face it, she really resembles a living doll. That you do stuff with. And the world has enough stupid blogs about fashion and cosmetics, bought and paid for by the producers of the products they recommend.
I'm not.*****

How about the stunt where a fictitious Norwegian 12 year old made a blog about how she was getting married to an adult. What if the feminist movement got behind those kind of things, wouldn't that be great? Maybe focus on female circumcision, the role of women in islam, the whole China and girls thing? But no, alas, it often comes down to men are evil, not enough female superheroes in practical body armor and no means no.
To me, the feminist label has become somewhat silly, outdated and hardheaded, all by their own doing. The same way I look at the animal rights label. You see I don't like the animal lovers either... I kind of hoped to smack them down too, but I see now I'll have to do that later. 

To conclude, I'll talk about my dear old grandmother again, gone for some years now, and a product of her time long ago. I recall her watching the news on tv and say in a somewhat incredulous  and surprised tone "Well this is something. I didn't know you could charge someone with rape when they are married to the "rapist". Tut, tut."
I think we all agree those times are behind us. Feminism, please become intelligent and relevant again.


*See what I did there?
**A stupid phrasing that doesn't really make sense, but people understand what you mean when you use it.
***I'm linking to my blog in my blog, hooray!
**** In real life they actually had armor. Because they were not Gerald Butler.
*****Any takers? Please? I'm cheap.