You know I'm right.
I watch movies, as most people do. Some I enjoy, some I just hate to bits and want to sue the companies that made them and make them watch me doing useless shit for an hour and a half*.
Some people are of the misconception that every opinion is valid. They are wrong, and I just proved that with this sentence. Some people think the new Ghostbusters film is good. They are so wrong.
“Usually when you see females in movies, they feel like they have these metallic structures around them, they are caged by male energy.”
― Bjørk
If you think new Ghostbusters was a good movie, I am here to tell you that there is something wrong with you.
Sure, some jokes were good. And that is all there is to be said about it. It's a feminist all-terrain vehicle reboot movie, with a statement to make. The big problem is that it is all about the statement and the film itself, as art, entertainment and craft, is left behind to be scaffolding, like a metallic structure, caging it in meaningless female energy.**Jokes kinda had to be made, so they were forced in there, probably with a crowbar. I get it, I really do. Chris Hemsworth's character was the amalgam of every stupid assistant/receptionist eye-candy ever made, but he came across as literally retarded, and not funny. Just a statement.
The cast from the old movies was there to be killed off or just make an appearance as a generally unlikable cameo. It was a changing of the guard, a statement. It could've been a good thing, lending credibility to the new crew, instead it came off as a half-hearted fuck you to the old crew.
Story was meeh.
Characters were urgh.
Villain was eesh.
Action sequences were umfh.
Some jokes were ok.
Visually good, huzzah!
Maybe I'm just to misogynistic to get it, I don't know. I'm a guy and I totally hated it. I hate it because it could've been GREAT. Instead it was turned into a stupid reboot with a mission. I'm not saying it is a bad movie because the 'busters were all female, I'm fine with that. I'm saying it is bad movie because of the ham-fisted way they made it into a bad movie about girl-power. If you are one of those people who just go "Yaaay, women instead of men!" at any cost, then I have to ask you
-Really, at any cost? Because you are not only getting bad movies here, in the US of A, they are voting in Hillary. People are getting voted to presidency because of their genitals. And here I thought that was the opposite of equality. No, I get it, a female president of the US, is fine. But will any woman do, is that it? Obama was a good enough first black president. He was intelligent, eloquent and didn't fuck up anything too badly. Is Hillary really the best they can do for first female president?
Come on. Don't make it into just another statement.
I'd vote for Trump by the way. Who knows, he'd might break the system.
Anyway, I have some awesome ideas that I hope some company with a true sense of social justice will pick up on.
Blues Sisters - Jaqueline and Elveena are two musicians on the run from the laws of men. Follow them as they tour across America while they raise money to shut down the orphanage where they were molested by priests as teens.
Trans-Transformers - More than meets the eye, robots in disguise. The tag line says it all, really.
Pretty Man - A fairytale about a misguided man-whore, who gets turned into a caring and supporting man-toy by a successful business-princess with a heart of gold.
Indiana Jones and the secret of the patriarchy - Emma Watson is Indiana Jones, female archaeologist and adventurer. Follow her as she fights the agents of an ancient evil and uncovers the truth about everything.
James Bond - Public Secret - Britain's secret agent has a private secret and makes it public. This thrilling action-spy-drama sees Bond lose his job and get death threats on facebook, because of his bravery.
Jamie Bond - I am bond - Bond is back, and she is classier, deadlier, sexier than ever.
Warner bros, 21thCF, anyone?
*Possibly they pay me to do this, possibly they just download me for free, fair is fair.
**I'm so clever.
