Yes, It has been a while since last
rant. This is now being mended, sort of, through this special episode
of man vs cat.
Cat: As your lawyer, I recommend that
you write more about your hate and things in general, and mayhap that
you do something relevant. Like the dishes.
Man: But there is the summer sale on
steam right now a-
Cat: Really, games are taking up all
your time? Checked your priorities lately?
Man: Yes. I mean no.... Damn it, this
is not a lawyer issue!
Cat: Then as your therapist, I highly
recommend getting your shit together. And killing small animals for
fun.
Man: Hah! You are not a certified
shrink, you only have a law-degree.
Cat: This is true, but the point is
still valid. Your brain is turning into a turnip. Too much
computer games and stupid tv-series.
Man: At least I make a conscious
decision when I use Netflix, I don't just watch whatever is on.
Cat: Bah! You binge watch Haven for
Pete's sake.
Man: Well, Haven is based on the great
works of Stephen King, and it is quite go-
Cat: Don't make me come over there and
scratch you! When did tv productions of the King become a mark of
quality? You know it is rubbish.
Man: It's rubbish. But-
Cat: No buts. I know the pub simulator
game thing is hard to make, but you're going to do it now.
Man: I refuse, it is hard, it's too
damn hot, and I started this blog when I was sick and didn't work
full-time. I don't have the time nor the energy.
Cat: Then write something easy, you
moron.
Man: Ok. I can do easy.
It has come to my attention that a
healthy sex-life is good for you. People who have lots of sex are
happier, healthier and live longer. This is bad, because using my own
powers of logic, it means that people who don't have a healthy
sex-life are unhappy, have poor health and die sooner rather than
later. I'll probably be found dead somewhere any time soon. Luckily,
as we all know, the internets is for porn. If sex keeps you alive,
then porn is a life-support system, keeping those of us in need alive
like a heart and lung machine does for a person who has been watching
too much tv and become brain-dead. Are you in the danger zone? Do you
feel weak and possibly dying from lack of sex? Go to your doctor and
demand medicinal porn now!
Cat: I'm not impressed yet.
Man: You know I have big drafts, but-
Cat: But nothing. Go play your stupid
games. Maybe you'll become sick from lack of sex and get some leave
from work again. Then you can finish the pub simulator.
Man: No luck. Porn.
Cat: Right....
