It is hard to be angry all the time, so I've revisited the topic of music on a happier note. We like music here at Castle of Hate. We also like lists. Logically, that leads to the following theme.
Music analysis with a touch of hate.
Who: The artist. Someone I've been listening to or seen live lately.
What: What a random song probably will
be about.Hates: What they hate. May be a wild guess here.
Quote: A song title, snippet of lyrics or something suitable
Who: Blind Guardian
What: The last fantasy book they read
or movie they saw. Ranging from Never-ending story to a full concept
album of Silmarillion and back to Tommyknockers. Gloriously pompous.Hates: Sauron, reality.
Quote: "Songs I will sing of tribes and kings - The carrion bird and the hall of the slain"
Who: Dropkick Murphys
What: Something that happened when they
were at the pub and got drunk, working class issues.Hates: Rich people, nazis, fancy drinks with tiny umbrellas.
Quote: "Kiss me, I'm shitfaced!"
Who: Flogging Molly
What: Something that happened at a
slightly more posh pub, unemployment, the troubles of an Irishman in
USA.Hates: The man, Cromwell, American football
Quote: "It's the worst day since yesterday."
Fun fact: Dave King is the King in the world of music. No, not Kerry. Dave.
Who: Led Zeppelin
What: Sex, wizards, Vikings, drugs,
anything cool and groovy.Hates: That the 70s ended.
Quote: "I'm gonna give you every inch of my...."
Who: System of a down
What: Politics, USA and what is wrong
with it, crazy stuff about bananas and sugar.Hates: War, politicians, presidents, powers that be.
Quote: "They're trying to build a prison – for you and me to live in"
Fun fact: SOAD put pressure on the president by refusing to make any more tours or albums until USA was out of Iraq. Obviously this worked and after long negotiations with SOAD, Obama gave in and USA pulled mostly out of Iraq. SOAD is now mostly back on tour. Good for you SOAD, well done.
Who: Rage against the machine.
What: Much the same as SOAD, only less
crazy and more funky.Hates: Wall street, machines, corruption, politics.
Quote: "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!"
Who: Faanefjell
What: Trolls, devils and maidens, beer,
more trolls.Hates: Christians, washing their clothes, coordination.
Quote: "There is mold growing in my stage costume." Heard backstage.
Who: In Flames
What: Instead of doing therapy, they
write a song about their issues. May contain jesters.Hates: Paying for therapy, jotuns, sore throats.
Quote: "As the chosen pessimist, I carve my name in stone."
Fun fact: In Flames made a making of the album documentary where you can hear what is sounds like when you substitute drumsticks with penis.
Who: Gogol Bordello
What: Immigrants, punks, alcohol and
the color purple.Hates: American weddings, cops, minimum wages.
Quote: "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is vodka, where is marinated herring?"
Fun fact: Started out as a wedding band for Russians in USA.
Who: Type O Negative
What: Self-loathing, dead friends, dead
girlfriends, cheating girlfriends, anything miserable.Hates: Girlfriends, being the people they are, green lights.
Quote: "One, two, three, four – I don't want to live no more!"
RIP Peter Steele.
Who: Monster Magnet
What: Whatever Dave Wyndorf saw on his
way to rehab. It will be wild.Hates: Drugs. Probably.
Quote: All the lyrics are insane, but to quote Mr. Wyndorf "Don't do drugs, I can't even talk normal any more."
Who: Alice and the Mountain
What: Trains, big cities, the ocean,
Davy Jones, hunting. Really.Hates: Most of the same things I hate. Good deal.
Quote: "Big cities make me feel small, yet I can't fit in without having to crawl."
Who: Judas Priest
What: Leather, motorcycles, giant
robots and the fact that it is ok to be gay and still love metal.Hates: Mark Wahlberg, closets.
Quote: "Hell bent, hell bent for leather!"
Who: Moonspell
What: Goth porn in music form. There
will be puns about vampires and sex. Like "Lickantrophy".Hates: Celibacy, paying for child support.
Quote: "What better comfort can you find, than the serpents in my arms?"
Fun fact: I am certain there is a legion of single mothers in black velvet all over the globe bringing their kids to Moonspell concerts, pointing at Fernando Ribeiro on stage, going "That's your daddy."
Who: Woods of Ypres
What: The most bleak and depressive
stuff you can imagine. It's like soaking your head in pure
unhappiness. I really like it.Hates: Life, cars. Not sure if the crash that killed the vocalist was an accident or not.
Quote: "I asked life for a second chance but life said no."
Who: Mastodon
What: Giant monsters, giant whales,
giant everything, the ocean, Russians, goats, epic stories.Hates: Dogs that eat collectibles, SOAD, conventional drumbeats.
Quote: "Split your lungs with blood and thunder - When you see the white whale."
Who: Nashville Pussy
What: Whisky, Dixieland, guns, sex,
trailer park issues.Hates: Pacifism, hair loss, lack of drugs, the north.
Quote: "This one goes out to all the neutral countries." Said live in Sweden. You could hear a pin drop.
Who: Konstrust
What: Bohemian life, lederhosen, peace
and love, weird popreaggepunkrockcrossover stuff.Hates: Rules, everything that isn't fun or nice, people who aren't bi-lingual.
Quote: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the fast beat, beat, beat."
Who: Paradise Lost
What: Life, death and all the bad stuff that happens in between.
Hates: Relationships, life, death, religion.
Quote: "AAAAAAS IIIIIIII DIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!"
Who: Johnny Cash
What: Burning rings, men in black, boys
with girly names. And 50+ covers.Hates: The fact that he spent his entire life creating original music, but is best remembered for the covers of other artists he made shortly before he died.
Quote: "And it burns, burns, burns – the ring of fire." A song his family refused to be used in a commercial for hemorrhoid treatment.
Last but not least: If you are in possession of a Luxus Leverpostei cd, throw it away and go to the dentist and ask him to punish you for your sins.
